Can Harrison Ford Make Babies?

I think this is the first film that’s genuinely and truly forced me to think about the question “Can Harrison Ford make babies?” and that is a feat in and of itself. We should applaud for a moment. Moment over. Now, onto the answering this all important question.

He’s a pretty strong guy. It would make a lot of sense in the context of how this film was made to have him be a Replicant in the end, and there are definite hints. If Ridley Scott isn’t answering this question (more on this later), then he’s definitely putting it out there anyways. First of all, normal people don’t dream about unicorns. We just don’t do that. Perhaps more importantly are two scenes with Rachel and one with Roy. “Have you ever taken the test?” Rachel asks (and I’m paraphrasing), referring to the Replicant Test. That’s a super huge red flag right there. Sure, it could be Rachel attempting to establish some humanity, but we all know better. So less of a scene than a line, but whatever.

The…we’ll call it “seduction” scene with Rachel is another. What the hell is he doing? He’s not a forceful guy, and this is a forceful scene. It’s almost difficult to watch. There’s a lot of subtext about programming there, but we’ll ignore it to get to the gold. Why would he be so out of character unless he was coming to a realization he just isn’t ready for? In fact, prior to that, he seems out of sorts, though one could make a plausible argument that it is because he was saved by a Replicant. Finally, the scene with Roy. I know he’s a Bladerunner, but Roy should have messed him up. He can’t jump well, as demonstrated, by the scene where he is climbing to the roof is extremely impressive as far as strength goes.

Going back to his scene with Rachel, we have to wonder, can he make babies? If he’s a Replicant, we’ll assume “no”, because that would kind of defeat the 4 year lifespan model. So…babymaker or no? You decide.

Alright, True Believers, that's all you're getting.

And that is why "The Sandlot" is the pinnacle of modern film.